I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
