thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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