Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
