After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
