So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
