saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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