Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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