Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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