There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
