Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
