I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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