and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
