i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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