i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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