I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
