My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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