At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
