ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
