I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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