her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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