I must be too annoying 4 u.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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