Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
