i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
