it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
