I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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