I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
