I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
