dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
