we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
