i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
