Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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