i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
