East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
