i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
