She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
