The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
