I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You made out with two different species that night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
