After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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