I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i dont even know how to be here
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
