can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
