my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
