thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
