does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
