there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
