Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
