so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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