why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
