How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
wanna go halves on a baby?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
