Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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