He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
