If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
